So Today, in my quest to erase the awful stain of Trump America, I came across a delightful film called Ricochet. Gangsta shit with Denzel, Lithgow, Ice T and even fucking Famous Amos? What could go wrong? Well, have you seen four trains hit each other? Me neither, till I saw Ricochet, an outdated, 90’s, bloated super-film that totally sucked at the time though is destined to become a classic bad movie.
At first it seemed like a promising piece of cinema with the whole ‘he’s a psychotic killer out of control’ angle. Though it quickly devolves into the a-typical terrible 90’s cinema (that I know all to well) when Denzel strips to the nines and pulls out a gun (he secretly keeps in a reverse cup [clever]) and shoots a mustache twirling John Lithgow who managed to murder 4 people of two gangs in a span of a Hollywood minute and then decide to jump out a window for absolutely no reason (watch for yourself to see why it’s so stupid), land on a bunch of balloons to save his second story jump, only to face The Mother Fucking Bad-ass [young] Denzel ready to shoot the asshole in the face.
This scenario, in reality would have gone… never mind, just breath!
Some dumb chick runs out of a nearby porta-potty and decides it’s a good idea to run in front of a gun stand off and get’s taken hostage. That is when Denzel shows off his expensive workout routine and literally pulls a gun out of his ass to put a relentlessly evil Lithgow “behind bars”. Obviously John Lithgow is not going to stand for it, so he spends some bizarre prison time, (and I mean truly bizarre) time plotting his exit. There is some kind of gladiator scene that makes no sense which includes professional, double-sided swords with telephone book armor and an incredible lapse of guards for a super-max prison that would hold a man who violently murdered multiple men and had a standoff with a police officer wearing the LAPD shield.
Then, he goes on to brutally murder his parole board, with power tools, (necause multiple murderers are always eligible for parole within less than a decade). Then he takes one Parole Judge hostage and even kills the sweet old man that handed out books to him earlier, killing a ton of guards in the process and uses the bookmobile as an escape before killing the Aryan Brotherhood guys that helped him. Though since Denzel shot him in the knee he shoots that nazi guy in the knee (because of “anal-retentive coroners”who apparently don’t know what dental records are, let alone body height and other forensics, I am not making this up). They somehow conclude that Lithgow got killed so he is now free to torture the man that ruined his criminal career. Anyone need a cigarette? Fresh air? Black tar heroin?
Oh sorry. SPOILER ALERT!
Are you getting the sense how ridiculous this film is?
If you even made it through that than you will love this horrible film that Denzel Washington, John Lithgow, Kevin Pollack and a host of respectable actors wished never existed. Hey, a lot of people do stuff for money and regret it.
You would think that it would get boring after that, though it does not. It actually gets crazier with more of young Denzel showing off his workout routine before getting banged by a blond hooker in the bottom of a swimming pool, tied up and on a combination of heroin and cocaine (no joke). It gets even better as they managed to fill the pool (which is an expensive and nearly impossible task, coming from a pool-man) by the next day to hold synchronized swimming classes. If you think I am making this up, I’m not.
I won’t even get into the scene where Denzel passes out drunk and Lithgow comes into his house, places a video tape of him in his house over his kids with an axe, leaves notes and tons of evidence a detective would keep right? Instead, Denzel decides to run out in a pink bathrobe to ultimately hold a creepy clown at gun point in MacArthur Park (or Lafayette) in front of a Congresswoman’s child who was holding a videocam like Bob Saget was going to give them a check or something.
The line “I’m going to be the first Black President though I think Jessie Jackson will beat me to it” resonates with me. There are so many dated references and bad stereotypes you will flip your lid, or smoke one, though hopefully the later because this is stoner grade trash!
Some of these dumb mega-blockbuster movies from the 90s just suck. They cost 50 million to make and everyone went because of the trailer. “In a world” is something only understood by people that lived through the Ecstasy 90s. This is one of the weakest periods of Hollywood.
This film is so detached from reality and especially morality, which I only bring up because the film beats you on the head about the evils of crime everywhere from kiddy-porn to crack before Denzel convinces Ice mother fucking T to join some cause to blow up his own drug factory (pounds of white and brown sitting on the easily discover-able factory floor with chemistry set included) so he can take down a single asshole man that ends with them taking part in some odd electrification of the damn Watts Towers that results in Lithgow falling to his inevitable impalement.
I kid you not (see fig. 8-2).
This is dumber than some films of the era like Virtuosity (also staring Denzel and Russel Crowe) though this was the era of Anaconda and Eraser, let alone Independence Day, so don’t expect much.
However, as fun as it is to watch those films crash and burn. They get tiring (Dolemite). Ricochet is brilliant in its awfulness. It has high production values, big ‘splosions and more people get killed then the yearly death toll of Boise, Idaho in a single reel. The acting is good (always a problem for – “so bad it’s good”), I mean you have Denzel Washington and John Lithgow just to start! Lithgow is given a mustache twirling script but you still hate him, right till the end. That is good acting! You really do want to see him impaled on the Watts Towers, did I say spoilers?
The movie is as predictable as a 3-legged dog trying to win the Kentucky Derby. Though it is fun and I want this horrific piece of Hollywood trash to be remembered so future film makers will never ever waste good talent and resources again! Stoners of all creeds will love this film, and about two thirds of you will need it over the next 4 years.
Well that is my take anyway.
Here are the best one liners condensed into one convenient clip, though trust me, this film has laughs at every serious turn.
Rating:
So bad that it is good w/understanding it is a big bloated embarrassing piece of Hollywood trash.
4 Impaled John Lithgows on Watts Towers or whatever bullshit. Watch the fucking thing for yourself. Did I say spoilers?
