Dressing up Like Reagan

Giuliani as Rudy, the Presidential Candidate that thought he could but really couldn't

Rudy “9-11” Giuliani has a new campaign ad that highlights a glorious achievement in the Reagan Presidency (I can’t say that more sarcastically), claiming the way to stop terrorists is to do what the “Gipper” did and stand up to them, let em know who’s boss. In the ad, Rudy claims that Ronald Reagan negotiated the release of the 1979 Iran Hostage Crisis to get the hostages released within 1 hour of his inauguration as President, despite the fact that this is 100% false. The REAL negotiation actually took 4 months between President Carter’s Secretary of State Warren Christopher, Algerian intermediaries and representatives of the Ayatollah’s government. Christopher blamed Iranian mismanagement for the delayed release of American hostages till just one hour after Reagan’s swearing in.

To think that anyone with half a brain would think that between Reagan still celebrating his swearing in as President and all the media attention that the word hostage even entered his mind! Especially since Reagan was such a hands off President, lazy minded to boot and a notable opportunist who simply capitalized on events that happened around him. Giuliani however is not a man with half a brain (just half a heart) so perhaps this blatant disregard for the truth is more a deliberate manipulation of lies to distract Southern Conservative voters from the fact he is first off a New York Italian, secondly not evangelical and lastly not very socially conservative. Ah but hell he’s tough on terror! This in itself is quite hilarious.

However I laugh the hardest at the notion that Reagan stood up to terrorists. The only true test of Reagan’s virtues on terrorism, aside from capitalizing on the horrible PAN-AM Lockerbie, Scotland high jacking incident, was the intervention in Lebanon.

Reagan deployed Marines twice in ’83. Despite flowery speeches and big promises, all the Marines ended up achieving was more chaos. They were attacked many times, however the final incident was the deal breaker. When a suicide bomber drove a truck of explosives into the 1st Battalion HQ, killing 241 Marines, the nation publicly mourned the tragedy. Within a few days, America was suddenly invading Grenada, a tiny island nation with the population of a small town, what a coincidence. Wag the Dog anyone? (lol, it’s actually mentioned prominently in the movie).

Reagen sent in the marines to Beirut only to retreat when they were attacked

Three months later, Reagan would pull the Marines from Beirut, calling it a “redeployment” ironically. Reagan never sent soldiers into Lebanon again, that is unless you count Charlie Sheen’s dramatic covert invasion in the movie Navy Seals.

Charlie Sheen saves Lebanon in Navy Seals

Reagan’s administration is also responsible for other shenanigans in the Mid-East with terrorists. They traded arms for hostages repeatedly with groups like Hezbollah, arming terrorist groups with deadly weapons. Oh and don’t get me started about Iran-Contra or giving deadly weapons to Saddam Husein and of course the funding of the Muhahadeen (destined to become the Taliban). Reagan may come off like a movie hero, but he only played one on TV, a villainous role is what better suited the reality.

I bring up movies for several reasons, one of which is the remind you that Reagan was not only an actor, he was a Presidential actor as well, who focused dramatically on lighting, staging and a strong sense of drama. Like the film Titanic, Reagan’s presidency was all camera tricks and special fx, with very little emphasis on substance. Only difference, Reagan’s Presidency contained some of the best acting this nation has ever seen, something not found in its counterpart. In the end, however, the two share more than meets the eye. They are both fictitious dramatizations of reality, both needlessly over-hyped and ultimately both behemoths of their time, destine to fade away as people move on.

So when I hear Giuliani reciting scripture from the Book of Reagan as if it were the deeds of some heroic David who stood against Goliath, it not only sounds like fictitious drama, it is. Especially since had we followed Reagan’s example, we’d have pulled out of Iraq years ago.

Guiliani would be nothing without 9-11

Reagan smoked chesterfields, shouldn't every shill smoke them?

About Joshua Johnson

For 8 years, Soapblox.com has functioned as the political blog for up and coming writer, Joshua Johnson. While he writes many different styles of writing ranging from science fiction to social commentary, his true love lies in politics and history. With a degree in History from CSUN, his love of history shines through in his perspective. Josh’s articles are focused heavily on telling the truth and cutting through the subjective and relative nature that is prevailing these days. Hailing from the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles, Josh has had a decidedly middle-class upbringing, which has translated into a deeply rooted love of the Progressive movement of the early 20th Century. A self-described “progressive” Josh’s political views are quite mixed though lean left of center.