Hookergate II (not to be confused with the CIA hooker scandal last year) is now in effect, and the D.C. madame and ABC News, who have her list, will be releasing some names. Once again, it is a laugh riot watching the media respond to any headline that has the word sex in it. It seems to me, that we live in a second age of yellow journalism, where anything that catches your attention, and sells advertising space, is news.
That being said, let’s bring on the hookers!
Get this: Ms DC Madame now claims, the REAL reason she squashed outed hooker consumer and former Deputy Sec. of State Randal Tobias, was to help smoke out potential witnesses to help prove her services are legal. I suppose next she’ll say that her hookers were giving the money they raised not having sex to fight poverty and fund education. Considering her services were primarily college girls, she may have a point. Especially since that’s the same schlock that college girls who work in the sex trade tell others and themselves while they whore themselves for material gain. There have always been hookers, it’s the worlds oldest profession, why not just admit it? Why can’t society just admit it?
My favorite part is some of the juicy details. Like that Tobias had stopped using the D.C. madame’s gals in favor of a service that offered Central American girls.. That was part of his defense! And he still insists theres no sex, I mean, we all know the fine reputation Salvy (El Salvadoran) girls have for giving good massages, right?
Besides, and this is common knowledge, I hate how the media turns a blind eye to basic street facts, there are two kinds of massage parlors in this world: The kind you get a massage from and the kind you get a “massage” from. One has licensed massage therapists who take their job seriously and dress in professional clothes, play ambient music and burn zen candles and incense. The other, well the other looks like a brothel. When I used to do ads for the Yellow Pages, legitimate massage parlors were so scared of looking like a brothel, they wouldn’t allow us to even show someone getting a massage. So make a note that if a massage parlor shows exotic girls with a lusty look in their eyes, odds are its not a place to get a 30 min session of hot stone therapy. It maybe a place to get a hot stoned girl give you therapy of a certain sort, but obviously, you would have to be an absolute fool to mistake the difference. Come on! Let’s be real about this!
Can you spot the real massage parlor?
If you guessed the health spa next store to the check cashing place, you are wrong. The health spa with the Zen southwestern feel and obviously costs money just breathing in the air, that was the answer we were looking for. Thanks for playing! We have some lovely parting gifts and copy of the home version for ya!
Where was I, oh yeah. So far two prominent politicians have fallen as a result of the DC Madame’s creative media use, Military strategist Harlan Ullman, the creator of the “Shock and Awe” strategy in Iraq, wow there are so many jokes in there it isn’t funny, and of course Mr. Tobias. ABC news says it will publicly release more names this week, but many are downplaying the names on the list. I guess the really powerful people go through a different prostitution ring. Maybe that one with the Central American girls Tobias switched to.
Boy I bet when Ullman developed the strategy for Shock and Awe, I’ll bet he never saw any problems arising from any missiles exploding in this country. (Rimshot) Hoooooooooo, and make her a Central American. (rimshot again). I’ll be here all week, try the veal. (I couldn’t help myself, sorry.)
You know things are screwed up in the Republican party when some people are actually happy that finally there is a sex scandal that doesn’t involve man on man action or little boys. They seem to forget that their base doesn’t believe sex is good for anything but procreation, yet they love a good sex scandal don’t they? That’s why the good folks at the Christian Broadcast Network are getting in on the act, because, as we learned in Clinton era BlowJob-Gate, how much the Pat Robertson Religious Right loves a good sex scandal. I wonder if they’ll push for these officials to resign like they did Clinton?
One things for sure, it just got a lot harder to buy a hooker in Washington D.C.
