Jon Stewart was feeling a bit ill from all the bad news (as are we all) and then he saw the latest Mitch McConnell advert and all his grey skies blended into a cacophony of clear blue with rainbows and laughter.
He aired the video a week ago:
That spineless, creepy vid was an instrumental, devoid of speaking and set to the sounds of dull corporate ambient. It was intended to prove that a proven leader of provable proven-ness could be re-elected as Senate Majority Leader. It was intended to show that Mitch loved women (clearly as there are shots of him with women all over the place, even at rally for women) and that he was diverse as he married an Asian wife and got her to conform to good ol’ conservative Ken-tucky ways by styling her hair in an obnoxious beehive that Marge Simpson and the ladies of the Jersey Shore would take notice of (However a women as ambitious as Elaine Chao is hardly a docile Southern Belle, more a women who would marry Mitch McConnell to stay connected to political power).
So anyways, Jon had an epiphany that is almost something you would hear coming from his buddy Colbert more than from the halls of the Daily Show, and decided to set new music to the corporate documercial. “We put a million songs to this today because it’s fun as s**t.” said Jon Stewart, and then prompted the audience, in studio and at home, to try it themselves. It became a hot trender in no time.
Now we at Soapblox.com were much obliged to take up the challenge. That night I got to listening to the music collection and picked out 3 that I felt would be funny and relevant.
My first concoction centered on an issue that angered me greatly: War and Veterans Benefits. I seem to be the exact opposite of most Republicans as I feel war should be a last resort and no matter what, you should shower your vets with benefits and praise for going through the horrors of war. Of course, to be fair, I have many friends that served, contemplated it myself time and time again and have studied the horrors of war in graphic detail to a point that I know that anyone who hasn’t served, will never understand war.
Mitch and his Republicans are of a different nature. They take men and women in the prime of their lives and thrust them into life-changing battle to bleed and watch their friends die, all to satisfy an empty political objective (WMDs? Nope! Make Iraq safe for Democracy? Nope! Weaken Iran? Nope! Nope! Nope! Oil? Yep!). Yet when the soldiers return to the lousy VA system and no more cheers nor throngs of dumb conservative “support our troops” protests, you’d think they would at least make sure that the benefits were there. Mitch voted two weeks back to kill a bill that raised veterans benefits to a more realistic level.
You’d think a guy who at least enlisted to be in the Reserves, despite getting discharged early would at least see these men and women as human beings! NOPE!
This one is for you Mitch!
You gotta love Black Sabbath! If you don’t and you are anti-war, then you should at least love that song. I really don’t think that the Sabbath crew could have created a more phony looking example of a phony politician than Mitch McConnell. He goes very well with the music.
My next video is a tribute to Mitch on Women’s Rights and Gay Rights. As you can see from his voting record, he has voted time and time again against issues that pertain to the rights of women. Equal Pay? Children’s Health Insurance? VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN? YES! Always, always always, you can set your watch to it. Mitch voted “Nay!” I can see his ugly turtle head cocking up a half smirk when he did it.
As for Gay rights and Minority rights in general, he has been on the wrong side of history, time and time again, even voting to reverse history and send us backwards on settled issues over and over again.
For a man that looks so buttoned up that even when he wears casual clothes that make him look rich and anal, for a guy that wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a biker bar and looks as if he would choke on his own tongue when he had to give “the talk” to his kids, this one is for you:
The last one is just a humorous match-up. I though of everything the Republican Party, in which Mitch is one of the fearless leaders, represents and then I said, ‘what is the exact opposite of that’. What is the opposite of buttoned up, sexually closeted, pro-corporate, anti-freedom, wealthy, elite, white supremacist hypocrisy with stale standards of taste?
This:
Well, here you go, Hope you enjoy. Oh and if you live in the great state of Kentucky, I hope you understand that this is not an issue of culture or values or any of that stuff that politicians all pretend to have. This is an issue of pragmatism.
Mitch McConnell has been one of THE worst Senate leaders in American history. He’s been mediocre to his party but he has been disastrous to this nation. He has used the Filibuster to clog up the Senate more than any other Senate Minority Leader in history, a CLEAR record that won’t be broken any time soon. He has held up bills, held up nominations to courts and government posts just to ruin the government. The same government we pay for. Why? So he can make Obama look bad and his party look good. That’s it, nothing more, nothing less.
Our nation deserves better than McConnell, so ditch the Mitch Kentucky! You deserve better!