Irrelevant

Over sized mouth piece, Rush “to Judgment” Limbaugh, is, to be frank, as useful to the American discourse as a large bag of hot air. I have called him “the rash” in the past and the more I think about it, the more I see that this analogy is entirely accurate.

In past weeks the Rash lashed out at soldiers who spoke out against the war, calling them “phony soldiers”. Senate Democrats jumped on the opportunity and wrote him a letter (wow, sock it to em Dems [sarcasm]). A letter the bloated loud mouth auctioned off on EBay for a hefty sum, proceeds as you might expect, went to some right leaning charity that provides scholarship funds to the children of, specifically, Marines and Federal Law enforcement personnel (whatever that means) who are killed in the line of duty. The rumor mill has not been cranking out stories of typical Republican crookedness in regards to this charity, so we can give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume they’re not funneling the money into some sort of slush fund to pay for President Bush’s potential exile to Paraguay. (Lol, but you never know, especially with politicians and especially with Republicans.)

While the ploy is overtly obvious, this is just how these guys operate.

The Rash thought he had scored a major coup, however news has broken in recent hours that the supposedly loyal Rush listener has also contributed the maximum legal amount to Senator Barack Obama’s Presidential bid.

Than in very recent late-breaking moments, Senator Reid, admitting defeat, praised the devious Rush for giving the money to charity. Rush than refused his praise like the spoiled sport he is. Rush will always take the most attention getting line, however this time, it makes him look like a whiny child.

Furthermore, the main media has moved its attention elsewhere, away from professional carnies like Rush, giving very little oxygen to this story. Most of the main coverage is being megaphoned out of the FOX News network. Of course! They’ve long been a pusher of increasingly irrelevant right-wing punditry. This recent incident makes clearer this fact, as the right-job pranks pun-idiots like Rush Limbaugh stage garner even less attention than they did a year ago.

This is how a man like Rush goes off to die. He becomes more irrelevant with each passing day. Sooner or later he chokes on the lack of media oxygen given his way. Like Anne Coulter, these two nimrods are at the point of jumping around begging for cookies in mama’s kitchen, cookies in the shape of news attention.

Senate Dems should have known better than to even bother with the Rash. Much like a real rash, you’re better off just leaving it alone. Let it heal. Agitate it, or ignore a really bad case of it (a la Swift Boat slime) and you’ll get an infection and than you really do have to do something. By then, what should have been nothing, becomes a gigantic distraction.

Guys like Rush thrive on media attention. In the vain of Howard Stern, they will never accept defeat, they will spin the truth in a way that makes them look positive. Rush even found a way to spin his addiction to Oxycotton, pharmacy shopping, subsequent rehab and criminal investigation to that of a victim’s story. Yeah a fat, very rich, Caucasian man who was abusing Oxycotton is somehow the victim of “the man”. You’d have to be pretty stupid to buy that line. Thankfully for the Rash, his listeners are just that.

Why do these guys, who are always trying to project hyper-masculine attitudes, always want to be the victim? They whine about how African-Americans and Homosexuals and women and Latinos and whatever else they feel threatened by, are all out to get them using affirmative action, advocacy and steel their potential janitorial jobs. You have my sympathies [break out the violin music]. Poor affluent, Anglo-Saxon prosperous Americans. We all know how this world has it in for you!

Cry me a river!

These right-wing shock jocks all come off like they’ve “been there”, with a phony populist message that builds on basic stereotypes, in both the phony populist background they invent about themselves (like pretending they come from values or a working class background) and the hatred they direct at others (like the stereotypes of homosexuals and liberals). They have the personality traits of a child, spoiled rotten to the core, because most of them know as much about real life as a spoiled, rotten child does, damn near nothing. They’re all mostly from very wealthy backgrounds and got to where they are today using daddy’s powerful connections. Not a one of them comes from below the upper-middle class income level and not a one of them has ever seen REAL hard times.

The time of big, fat, obnoxious, loud-mouth hypocrites is over. Guys like the Rash are dinosaurs. They look old, decrepit, bitter and curmudgeonly. When times were good and news was slow, these clowns made great spectacle of their hate speech. Today, with trouble ahead, meaningless talking heads who bitch and moan about government spending and the subversive actions of homosexuals seem out of place. They thrive on what little oxygen the decreasingly sympathetic media blows in their direction. Too bad for them that the times are changing and America is waking up to realize just how out of touch these guys actually are.

Well enjoy today Rash, I know it’s but a shadow of your former past, but it’s likely all the attention you’re going to get for a while. There are just more important things to worry about, and you, sir, are irrelevant.